“But this precious treasure—this light and power that now shine within us—is held in perishable containers, that is, in our weak bodies. (Greek: But we have this treasure in earthen vessels or jars of clay) So everyone can see that our glorious power is from God and is not our own. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but not crushed and broken. We are perplexed, but we don’t give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going. Through suffering, these bodies of ours constantly share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.” 2 Corinthians 4:7-10 New Living Translation
There isn’t much to say that the verse above doesn’t already explain. Many of you know that I began writing this blog because I had been placed on my employer’s long-term disability insurance and was unable to work. That was nearly two years ago and the time has flown by faster than I could have imagined. When I went on long-term disability I knew there would be a review of my health issues after two years. Because I expected the review, I knew someone would delve into all my medical records at Stanford, UCLA, and those of each doctor who’s had anything to do with my medical treatment and may have noted my inability to function well enough to work.
As a result of this process, the insurance claims supervisor has decided I am able to work at a sedentary job. Roughly translated, this means our current income will cease in approximately 30 days. The insurance supervisor noted that because I am highly intelligent I will be able to find a well-paying job that will meet my physical limitations. I received this information by phone with the assurance that a letter would follow.
It’s impossible! At least that’s how it looks to me because I’m nearly 60 years old, without a college degree, and live less than 10 miles from one of the nations top polytechnic universities.
The following day when I saw my new primary care physician, he added his part of the story. He had received a phone call from a medical expert working with the insurance company. The expert gave my physician an ultimatum to declare exactly what made me disabled. He felt he was unable to personally substantiate my disability since I have only seen my new doctor four times. Therefore, he had not been able to follow my illnesses for any length of time. In addition, his past experience in court as a medical witness for his patients has brought him to believe that expert witnesses and opposing attorneys will only twist and explain away anything he may give in evidence. Yet I am in the process of neurological testing and have been referred to still another specialist for even more tests and diagnoses!
So what does one do when slammed up against an impossibility, one they know they are unable to avoid or control?
I can only answer this for myself. I am learning to live in the now because the next 30 days haven’t happened yet. I can make conjectures as to what will happen, but I don’t really know what will occur. I cannot see into the future because it belongs to God. What I know is this, God has never let us down. Not ever. Period. So why should this time be any different from the others? I would say that is a good question to ask, well worth the consideration, wouldn’t you?
“Always be joyful because you belong to the Lord. I will say it again. Be joyful! Let everyone know how gentle you are. The Lord is coming soon. Don’t worry about anything. No matter what happens, tell God about everything. Ask and pray, and give thanks to him. Then God’s peace will watch over your hearts and your minds. He will do this because you belong to Christ Jesus. God’s peace can never be completely understood.” Philippians 4:4-7 New Reader’s International Version